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[ There are precious few in this reality who know what he did. Haru, because she lived through it herself. Akechi, because they've lived through too much together. Eren, because he knows every depth of Maruki's soul. And–

That's it. The very best he can hope for is acceptance and forgiveness, but he would never expect it of anyone. If people were to find out and hate him for it, he would understand. The kindness he has received from those few, even if it takes shape in strange forms, is already more than he deserves.

So when Ryoji looks at him with all the warmth of a moonlit spring night, and he shows him true understanding–

Maruki's stunned. Silent, still, stunned.

Gratitude unfurls in his chest, blooms like a new flower pushing up through cold earth. ]

Thank you. [ Soft, soft, but earnest. ] I... well, I wasn't expecting to ever hear that from anyone.

[ Isn't it incredible, to want the same thing?

Even if the dream has already been set aside, even if it was impossible from the start. ]

Thank you, Ryoji-kun.

[ Curiosity thrums a steady beat in his veins. Is it too much to ask more? ]

Can I ask... you said they were successful. What happened to you afterwards?

Edited (WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm tired) 2025-12-05 06:12 (UTC)

[Isn't this a gift, to be able to bring forth spring as Death? To know that through his fingers even cherry blossoms can bloom, the light in Maruki's eyes made manifest. The good doctor's gratitude burns a gentle flame in Ryoji's breast.

At the very least, this connection — one that can only be understood by those who wish to attain the impossible — is something that they have gained tonight.

Ryoji's hand slides against the wood of the pews, wondering how to choose his words next.]

Ryoji Mochizuki was always fated to die on that night, the only thing that could change was whose hand would have done it. Minato…I guess he couldn't bear to kill a friend, in the end.

[His eyes soften upon thinking of him. Perhaps a part of him is grateful he didn't have to soil Minato's hands with his blood that day.]

So I made my way to the top of Tartarus, where my transformation has taken place. I ceased to exist as a human, and took my place as Death once more. And then the Promised Day came, where I fought my dear friends…I fulfilled my duty as the harbinger of the Fall.

[A fate he wasn't meant to fight against. Only humans can do that.]

How much has Minato told you?

[ Maruki's silent as the grave as he speaks, taking it all in, though parts of it absorb slowly, in fits and starts. Unfamiliar names, concepts– all told, he hasn't dug for much information from the other persona users he's learned about. With anyone else, he'd have been more resourceful, more tactical in excising those details...

But it's felt important, somehow, to go about things more delicately for those with powers similar to his own. They may share a true reality. There may be ripple effects from the bonds they forge and knowledge they gain here. He's been more or less content to let things come about naturally, and now–

Now, they have. ]

Much less than you've just told me. I don't... [ His mouth twists, half thoughtful, half unhappy. It's still a strange thing to contend with, no longer being a counselor. ] I try to let people open up to me in their own time.

[ A beat, a breath, and Maruki straightens his spine, fixes Ryoji with an apologetic look. ]

You don't have to tell me more if you think he wouldn't want me to know. And... I won't ask more, if that's the case.

[Ryoji nods, understanding. As happy as he is to open about himself, he understands it's not something you can force out of others. With Minato, especially, whose demeanor he is familiar with. You can't force him too hard or he'd just clam up again — it's best to be encouraging, to let him open up of his own accord. Exactly what Maruki is doing.

And that's how he knows they are good friends. Small wonder he can find himself be comfortable around the good doctor.]

It's alright. Minato's secrets are his own, but mine are free to be told. Besides, I do find this cathartic, in a way — there's not a lot of people I could talk about such things.

[To live is to change. To march unto death is to change. For the flow of time to continue, one must expect water to run through, not to sit still. Why else would fate dictate them to be in the same place, at the same time, if not for these connections to have been born?]

The domains of Shadows and Personas are within my purview.

[He looks again at the glass panes of the church, at the motifs of the moon shining down on them.]

I'm willing to share my knowledge with you, if anything sparks your curiosity.

[ Ryoji's openness is... refreshing, though perhaps not surprising. If he really thinks about it, as he redirects his own gaze to those stained glass windows as well, it makes sense. If all really is as he says, if he really is Death, if that which dwells in the collective unconscious really is innate to him– why should he have anything to hide? Those human trappings of wearing masks don't apply to him.

What a fascinating individual, even beyond their shared dream. Maruki unwinds his hands to drape both his arms over the back of the pew, one propping up to rest his cheek on one palm, fingers drumming thoughtfully. ]

Well... I do have one question. I'm sorry if it's an obvious one, but– I did see Arisato-kun's persona. Thanatos.

[ And he saw the transformation that took place during their conversation in that memory. So... ]

That's... you, isn't it? [ His questions are careful, and entirely earnest in their curiosity. There's no judgment, no doubt. ] How is that possible?

[Indeed, what does Death have to hide when it is supposed to be an immovable, unchanging force? He doesn't wear masks — he is the mask. The face he wears to the world is what he is in its entirety.

Or at least, that is what Ryoji wants to be. His own existence is an anomaly in itself, a person that was never meant to be. And yet here he is, conversing about Personas with a doctor that may or may not hail from the same world as he.

Ryoji nods solemnly at the question. No offense has been taken.]

Indeed — Thanatos is one of my names. A Persona User would use a catalyst to summon their Persona, but I can transform to Thanatos himself. What you saw is a shard of myself: a gift to Minato, in remembrance of our bond.

Fascinating...

[ It slips out, quiet and unbidden, and Maruki immediately looks sheepish for it. ]

I'm sorry, I don't mean... [ He doesn't want Ryoji to feel like he's a creature in a zoo being observed by a scientist and he smiles, apologetic. ] I just never expected to speak to someone like you.

[ Death, persona, shadow all in one– ]

I couldn't be more grateful.

[ The cognitive world Adachi described to him, the cognitive world Ryoji's described to him... they're both functionally different from what he knows, now with experience to back up all his theory, but they all must stem from the same place, right? He's met too many in this reality who come from worlds wholly, bizarrely different from his own to not find significance in those whose experiences are much closer to home.

When he was ready to die, he could see nothing but the light in Akira's eyes. If he hadn't had that–

Perhaps he would have met Ryoji under different circumstances. Perhaps not.

Either way, it's impossible not to feel a swell of gratitude so profound, it's nearly overwhelming. ]

Oh no, it's alright!

[He shakes his head, calm smile still in place.]

This is all new to me too, being able to talk about myself in such a manner. I never would have thought I would be able to converse about these things again.

[Maybe it's not so bad, to have a slice of himself that isn't human still, if it could help out people like Maruki. There's something melancholic about being able to give comfort only when you're about to die, but maybe, answering questions like this, it makes his existence as Death worth it.]

Do you mind if I ask a question of my own? Personas and Shadows — how did you first come to these things yourself?

[His world is still very small: everyone who knows about them are connected to the Kirijo Group in one way or another. But perhaps Maruki can show him a wider horizon when it comes to the cognitive world.]

O-oh!

[ It startles out of Maruki on reflex, as if he truly didn't expect to be asked an entirely reasonable follow-up question to his own admission. He's been so caught up in... everything about Ryoji that it genuinely did slip his mind, that he'd likely be prodded further.

For a moment, it strikes him at an odd angle. Is this really how forthcoming he'll be with people in this reality, now that he lives with a changed heart? That's an unsettling thought after how close he's kept his cards to his chest for most of his time here...

But, no. Maruki only needs to meet Ryoji's kindly, understanding gaze to remind himself that there's a precedent here, one that was set even before they met, when he witnessed that memory in the labyrinth. It isn't the same as telling a complete stranger. It isn't even the same as telling another Persona user for the first time.

Breathe. It's fine. ]

Of course, I don't mind at all. Ask anything you like. But, well... suffice to say, I have my own. [ A beat. ] Persona, that is.

[ He glances around the church. ]

I... probably shouldn't show you in here, should I?

[ He does want to show Ryoji, though... ]

[His eyes light up at that familiar term. To be honest, the idea has been forming in his head for quite a while now, curiosity always at the root of it. There's no rule that states adults couldn't have a Persona, but the difference between him and the rest of SEES alone sparks his imagination.

A shame that he can't transform to even out the scales. Maruki might have seen his form before, but to see the real thing in the flesh would have been a different experience — one that Ryoji is willing to provide, should the opportunity present itself.

For now, he stands up from the pew, fingers excitedly twiddling against his scarf.]

Not here, no. But I would love to meet him! Should we step outside and get some fresh air?

[ Ryoji's enthusiasm is infectious. Maruki's nerves fall by the wayside for the moment as he watches him fiddling with his scarf, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he stands as well. ]

Good idea. Come on, there's some secluded woods not far.

[ And it's true. Outside the church's courtyard, down a short winding path, Somnius begins to spill out into wild lands once more. No longer covered by crystal, the woods aren't exactly guaranteed to be safe, but– they're familiar, at least to him.

And once they're safely ensconced in the trees–

Maruki turns to face Ryoji, a brilliant aurora of deep jewel tones falling around him in waves as Azathoth appears behind him, floating in midair surrounded by swaying tentacles that seem to rise up from the ground itself. ]

It's called Azathoth.

[ He rests a hand on one of the larger tentacles closest to him, neon striations pulsing calmly beneath his palm. ]

I wonder if it recognizes you, somehow...

[Perhaps this place is dangerous, especially when he has no way of defending himself, but Ryoji finds no reason to be wary of the forest. What is there to fear for a god of death, as bereft of power as he is? Perhaps it also shows just how much he trusts Maruki already, following him by his lonesome into this winding path.

A familiar glow illuminates their surroundings, and eyes grow wide in wonderment as Azathoth manifests into being. It's not a Persona that he has seen before, but there is no mistake — it is one. Maybe not exactly one from his own world, but it is possible that it could recognize his connection to the mother of all Shadows.]

Hello there. It's nice to meet you, Azathoth.

[Ryoji reaches out his hand in greeting, expectant.]

[ Really, it's impossible to tell. Azathoth is Maruki, and Maruki is Azathoth– now more so than ever. It has always been able to tell friend from foe, has always stayed placid around Maruki's allies.

That could be the reason one of the larger tentacles sways forward and clasps its giant clawed hand gently around Ryoji's–

But Maruki chooses to believe it's recognition. And perhaps his belief is all that matters.

He laughs, scratches at his stubbled jaw a little self-consciously. ]

It can't talk. Not the way that you can, in that other form... ah, I hope you'll let me see it some day.

[Azathoth is gentle and warm, and that is enough to make Ryoji smile. He's no mind reader, and he doesn't really make a habit of making friends with fellow Persona, but if he could make a connection with Maruki's Persona, then that would be a gift in itself.]

Ah yes, my other form...

[But his gaze turns downcast at the mention of Thanatos.]

I'm not sure if I want it back, actually.

[ Maruki's brow creases, immediately apologetic. ]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed...

[ It was so plain to see on Ryoji's profile, wasn't it? He's excited to be human, to experience all that being human entails. It's likely not something he's eager to give up, even if he'd still be able to retain this form, too.

In the past, he's felt a bit more strongly toward those who won't regain the abilities inherent to them that were stolen from this reality, but... well, Maruki's mellowed out on several fronts. ]

You don't have to, you know. You're under no obligation. [ ... ] That said, if you ever find yourself struggling with that decision, I'd be happy to talk it through with you.

It's alright! You didn't know, sensei.

[Palms held up, in a gesture to calm Maruki down.]

I know I don't need to wish for it, but I do wonder — would I need those powers to live in here? Can I find a way to protect everybody without turning into Thanatos? I can already turn into a crow, thanks to that potion they gave us, so maybe I can learn other sorts of magic, too…

[One thing is for certain, though — he's not sure if he can accept that other side of himself, just yet. Ironic, coming from a Shadow, but his true self almost caused the end of the world once. Would anyone blame him for being hesitant?]

[ Maruki's expression softens, head shaking slightly from side to side. ]

I can't answer those questions for you, but I can tell you that you might find there are ways to help and protect others in this world that have nothing to do with brute force.

[ The bonds they form, the community they create– he still believes in it, perhaps now even more fiercely than he did before he left. All that each and every dreamer has, at the end of the day, begins and ends with their fellow dreamers. ]

You have the opportunity now to explore those other avenues. I know you won't waste that, Ryoji-kun.

[He looks at his hands, thinking. This truly is the opportunity he has been wishing for. All he has to do is to take action on it.

And maybe, just maybe, with the bonds he can create...he would be able to achieve his dreams.]

I won't.

labyrinthum inbox!

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sick and ill and deranged about this thanks

isn't this such a banger cr :)

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crying at maruki's reaction to korochan having a persona

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when he can go thanatos ouppy mode again they should PLAY

I BANK MY SHARDS FASTER

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sdhflksdj cries RYOJI.... WE CAN WRAP UP

WHAT A THREAD....wrap!!!