luneminary | expiation inbox!

[ Ryoji, of all people, should know the answer to that question. He should know, given that he'd been the source of some of it.

Minato chews and swallows his current mouthful of noodles, only responding with a silent shake of the head. Each person had their own troubles. His was nothing more, nothing less. They were all dealt their hands in life without having a say in any of it.

After all, hadn't Ryoji suffered too?

Somewhere in between his last helping of noodles and the time spent reflecting on how unfair it was for Ryoji to appear before him without a care in the world, Minato's vision had gone blurry. And though something damp and warm rolls down each of his cheeks, he lifts some more noodles with his chopsticks before leaning in to slurp them up.

Even if he'd had one person suddenly go missing in his life, another has reappeared before him, one whom he'd never thought he'd see again -- he should be happy to see Ryoji again, shouldn't he? He should be happy to see someone who'd come the closest to fundamentally understanding him, one whom he'd fully prepared to never see ever again.

But maybe it's because Ryoji knows precisely how much he'd carried with him, that the other boy's question makes his chest ache. He's elated, he's miserable -- he doesn't know anymore. ]

[He doesn’t understand it, not yet — and perhaps he never will. But his heart aches for his companion regardless, stricken by this unexplainable need to ease his pain. Isn’t it only natural, to want to care for someone, especially when they deserve something kind to happen in their lives? It’s how human connections fosters despite the strife and suffering they have suffered for so many years. Life is easier when your heart isn’t empty.

So he does what he thinks is right, and tries to wipe the tears away from his face.]

I’m glad I got to meet you, too. [Ryoji doesn’t know why it felt like the right words to tell him, but he just think he does — if he was sad like this, he would want someone else to say those same words.]

Oh, I have an idea! [He’s cheerful as he slowly unfurls the yellow fabric off himself, before he drapes half of it over his shoulder. It’s long enough that it can fit the two of them, even if the fringes would end up at their chairs once it’s tied up. It’s a poor excuse for a hug, but that’s the best he could do. If only if it was easy to hug someone beside you on a counter.]

There! Now we can help each other out.

[It doesn’t matter if they end up making a mess or causing a scene. That’s fine — that’s what being human is.]

[ The gentle hand drying his tears twists the metaphorical knife in Minato's gut. But as Ryoji wraps his scarf around both of their shoulders, he can't help the slight upturn in the corners of his mouth. Despite the anguish, meeting this particular face again in this specific way -- it feels a little like fate. ]

...thanks, Ryoji --

[ Minato loses his grip on his chopsticks. The noodles clasped between them drop back in the broth as the utensils clatter against the inside of the bowl. Ryoji hadn't introduced himself just yet, and based on the direction of the conversation, Minato suspects this is the first time he's ever crossed Ryoji's path. ]

...ah, I --

[ His heart skips a beat as he watches for Ryoji's reaction out of his peripheral vision. The little smile that was on his face is gone, replaced momentarily with panic in his eyes.

If he lied and said he'd just taken a lucky guess on what Ryoji's name was, would he believe it? ]

[The sudden drop of the chopsticks might as well be a pin drop against that second of silence.

But what Minato shall see from the other’s expression isn’t surprise, but something more akin to regret. The amount of expressive smiles Ryoji knows is staggering, and what he wears now is much different from the motion of comfort he has provided mere moments ago.

Now he looks polite yet filled with regret, as if he’s the one who has been in the wrong in this entire time.]

Ah, so we have met before?

[Hearing his name from a stranger he never talked to before should have been unsettling. Creepy, even. But his new friend’s voice sounds so much like his that it never even registers as something unordinary. Like Ryoji has been expecting him to know his name all along.]

I figured it somewhere along the way. [Not because of evidence, but mere intuition. It just feels like that conclusion is the one that makes sense.]

I’m sorry I couldn’t remember you.

[It must have been frustrating, Ryoji thinks. His own memories are filled with trivial blanks, but it had been easy to deal with them in Gekkoukan. Nobody really knew he was before, so he could brush his insecurities with his usual smile. But it was only a matter of time until fate finally manages to break down his defenses.]

[ Yes. No. Somewhere in between. It's inaccurate to say they've met when Ryoji's never crossed paths with Minato. ]

...no, it's -- it's okay.

[ Minato shakes his head a bit and manages a smile, though there's a melancholy casting a shadow over it. ]

You can't remember me because you've never met me before.

[ They'd once shared music together through his headphones, each of them taking one side. It's why the scarf wrapped over his shoulders is familiar, warm.

It's something this Ryoji has never experienced before. ]

I knew a version of you. So... it's not your fault. You don't have to be sorry.

[ It's mine. It's my fault for taking your hand, for showing you what it means to be alive while we were one entity.

It's my fault, for showing you how beautiful the world you were destined to condemn could be.

Minato reaches over a bit, gingerly laying a hand on Ryoji's arm. ]

...it's all right. We can start over.

[ ... ]

It's Minato. Minato Arisato.

[The name is the last missing piece of the puzzle. The reason why he feels a connection similar to what he has with Kotone. The reason why sharing his scarf never felt awkward at all. The reason that comes from this melancholy, of a gaping void within his memories.

It’s so unfair. For every fibre of your body to scream this is important, this is precious, and yet you do not know what it is. It makes Ryoji want to pull his hair out.

It’s him. This is the boy Aigis-san was talking about.

Ryoji swallows the bitterness and the frustration and hides it all. He’s the one trying to cheer Minato up. He’s the reason why Minato is so sad. He has no right to wallow in it.

They can start over. Ryoji would like to believe in that.

His other hand reaches over to hold Minato’s. A makeshift handshake.]

I’m Ryoji Mochizuki. [Even if you already knew that.] Nice to meet you too, Minato.

Ryoji Mochizuki.

[ Minato repeats that familiar name. A hand settles over his own, its palm warm against the back of his own. Perhaps their hands are enough to bridge the rift between them, one that spanned entire timelines, universes. ]

...it's nice to meet you too.

[ He wants to add "again" to the end of that sentence. Come what may, it seems the two of them couldn't help but gravitate into each other's orbits. It's why the small smile still hasn't left his face as he glances back into his bowl of broth. There are still a few stray pieces of noodle floating about. They've long gone soggy by now. It doesn't bother him. The best meals are ones shared with a friend.

Nevertheless, they probably should try to finish up soon. It's only polite to the owner of this little ramen shop. ]

...we can talk more later.

[ It's a version of a promise. Ryoji's always been inquisitive. Minato imagines there must be quite a bit the other wants to discuss. ]

[It feels right, to hear Minato say his like that. Something familiar, yet new all the same. Something that’s his, something that isn’t part of that Ryoji in Minato’s world. Perhaps it is fate that connects them, even in another world from different fates.]

You’re right — let’s eat first!

[Ryoji has finished less of his own bowl — he’s been focused on the other’s well-being after all, spending more time in comforting him other slurping his own noodles. But it’s okay, he knows the ramen is good. He lets go of Minato’s hand so he could pick up the spoon.

The scarf is still shared between them both, like a yellow string of fate.

There’s a lot that he still has to understand. The fact that another him exists somewhere else is already hard for him to wrap around. But…one at a time.

You need to live life as it goes, accepting what happens but never giving up in moving forward. At least, that’s what Ryoji believes. There is a lot he wants to talk about — things he wants to learn more about Minato — but there’s nothing wrong in enjoying broth and noodles for the moment.]

expiation inbox!

ur sick for all these tags just know that

yeah? and if i keep being sick then what

ur SICK

i hope you keep cursing me at every tag btw

how many ryomina icons are you sitting on wtf

:)

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